For The Record
by TooIntenseToBeLoved
Summary: Set during "Adam." "Measuring tapes never lie..." Some humour with Jack reading Ianto's diary Jack/Ianto


**Disclaimer: We all know that I don't own the characters and make no profit from my ramblings, so don't sue.**

**A/N: Where's the angst? How unlike me to write a nice happy piece, this Ianto's fault! No spoilers really apart from one line said at the end of "Adam." **

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**For The Record**

The black book sat staring up at Jack, tantalisingly out of reach, well metaphorically anyway. If he reached forward slightly he could take the black volume in his hand and open it, reading the precious information that was inside. Obviously opening the book would be an invasion of privacy, a diary was where a person kept their most private thoughts. Of course if the diary fell open at a random page and Jack just so happened to see it that would be acceptable wouldn't it?

Jack reached forward, his eyes darting around his office and out into the Hub looking for anyone who may come in, everyone appeared to be engrossed in their work and it seemed he would be free from distractions.

Placing his hand on the smooth black cover he carefully picked up the book that had been mocking him for the past hour, he held it in his hand and the book felt heavier than he remembered. Jack then allowed the book to fall to the ground; at least if anyone looked in they could see he was not intentionally looking at it.

Scanning the open page Jack picked up the phrases, _new member recruited… Named weevil Janet… Changed computer system._

Jack sighed, obviously nothing interesting on the page he happened to open, well he knew that when he returned the diary that Ianto would immediately suspect he had read it. So there would be no harm in committing the crime he was going to be accused of anyway. He flicked through the book to a more recent entry and scanned the page, a smirk moving over his face as he read on further, now this was far more interesting.

_Spent the night at the Hub again, although this was not work related, unless shagging the boss is in my job description. Am now convinced Jack has some other special ability apart from not being able to die. _

_He can magically make measuring tapes lie._

_Not sure how useful this ability is but honestly he managed to trick it somehow, there is no way it could have read right._

_We were lounging in Jack's bed after another encounter when Jack pulls out a measuring tape from no where and places one end at my toes and moved the other end up to my head. "What are you doing?" I asked him and he answered that he had been wondering just how tall I was. I told him he could have just asked and he shrugged before that playful smile appeared on his face and he reached his hand out to trail along my stomach, his hand moving further down until he had my cock in hand._

_He began moving his hand slowly up and down, until I grew in his hand, while this was happening he gave me one of those smiles. The ones he only ever seems to give when we're in bed. The one that says look what I can do to you, I love that smile._

_When I was completely he hard he gave me a cheeky grin and then held up the measuring tape. "I had forgotten about this." He said trying to look innocent, but I knew he had kept it down there for a reason, suspicions confirmed when the next thing he said was "While we're here…"_

_He then measured me, 8 and a half, I already knew that. So far the measuring tape was being accurate. "Well, since you've measured me it's only fair I return the favour." I said and flipped us before doing to him what he did to me, apart from I used my mouth to get him hard._

Jack stopped reading at this point a playful smile gracing his face as he sat back remembering that night. Leaning back on his chair he closed his eyes for a moment, when images of that night came back to him, the two times they had had sex, different positions, Ianto's mouth…

"Alright, Jack?" Gwen questioned coming into the office unannounced, the sudden interruption caught Jack off guard and nearly sent him tumbling backwards, but he quickly regained balance at the last possible moment.

"Fine." He said quickly, pulling some papers off his desk to cover Ianto's diary.

"I'm heading home, it's been pretty quiet today." Gwen told Jack giving him an odd look as he seemed to be acting rather odd.

"Sure." Jack replied distracted, waving his hand for her to leave. Once she had closed the door behind her he moved the papers and his eyes were again glued to the diary.

_I then picked up the same tape measure Jack had just used and used it on him. I measured once and looked at the number in disbelief and measured again thinking I hadn't done it correctly. No same number, the same number three times._

"_Problem, Ianto?" Jack questioned with a large grin on his face probably knowing exactly what the tape measure said, because obviously he had used his tape measure-changing-power, to give this number._

"_No, Jack" I replied looking at the treacherous tape measure._

"_Well, how big?" He asked the same grin marking his features, of course he knew the measurements. _

_I mumbled something that no one could have possibly heard and he asked me to repeat what I had said, the grin somehow managing to grow bigger. I wouldn't have been surprised to look down and see that the number had also increased like his smile. "10 and a half." I said slightly louder but hardly proclaiming the obvious lie at the top of my voice._

_He clearly tricked the tape measure, with some odd power. Never was it 10 and a half inches. I've seen his cock plenty of times, I've had it in my bloody arse and it never felt that big. Obviously this was some trick by Jack to make him seem bigger than he was. Either there was something wrong with the tape measure or Jack has an odd power over measuring tapes. _

_Will be sure to have a re-measure soon, just to quadruple check!_

Jack laughed at the entry and closed the diary refusing to intrude further. This entry was perfect for baiting Ianto with.

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"I've found your diary." Jack told Ianto, with a large grin on his face as Ianto looked uncomfortable.

"Yeah, I've been looking for that." Ianto replied, taking the diary from Jack hoping that he had not read it. He knew the odds were stacked against him and in all likelihood Jack had read some if not all of it. Ianto turned and walked towards the door hoping to get out without some comment from Jack.

"And for the record, measuring tapes never lie." Jack said from behind Ianto. Ianto briefly closed his eyes before muttering an inaudible curse and leaving the room, not wanting to know what else Jack may have read and thinking of the best way to get him back.

As Ianto left Jack wondered how long it would take him to ask for a re-measure.

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**A/N: Feedback please, pretty please. I use reviews to feed Ianto, you wouldn't want him to starve would you?**


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